You are walking along a deserted path and notice a fork in the road.
[[Walk to the left of the fork]]
[[Pick up the fork and put it in your bag]]You have accidentally stumbled into a rift in the space-time continuum, and of all places, you are spit out in the Salvador Dali Museum in 2015 and encounter your previous self.
[[You immediately hide in order to prevent horrible, time altering tragedies.]]
[[You charge at your previous self, yelling TWIN! with arms outstretched.]]Today is your lucky day, there is a burrito laying on the road.
[[Immediately eat the burrito, but without the fork, you're not a monster.]]
[[Save the burrito for your friend, Steve. You don't actually like Steve that much, but all the same are happy to give him a burrito that you found next to a fork in the road.]]You are a responsible time-traveler. Our Overlord, Time Baby, has granted you a wish.
You wish to return to the [[the fork in the road ->There Is A Fork In The Road]]
[[You wish for a burrito->Pick up the fork and put it in your bag]] You, yourself, and you, your previous self, embrace as you and you knew this would always happen, as time anomalies do.
[[You continue to explore the museum with yourself.]]
[[You leave to have crepes, your favorite, but not YOUR favorite, and discuss everything that has happened in between your now and the other now.]]When you give a you a burrito, you're going to want a glass of milk.
[[You would walk 5000 miles, and you would walk 5000 more just for some 2% Publix milk.]]
[[You are desperate enough for the warm, whole Winn-Dixie milk.]]With a burrito in your backpack, you feel like a new person.
[[Go to work]]
(set: $hasKey to true)(either:"Congratulations! You both understand the meaning of the universe by staring long enough at the giant mustache.","You draw mustaches on all of the art and are arrested, but when they try to book you and you have identical fingerprints, you are captured by the Bureau of Time Travel, and become friends with Cavendish and Dakota saving pistachios.","You find another rift in the time space continuum and both versions of you are transported to your birthday party and everyone gets burritos (and mustaches)! Happy birthday to you (and You) and YOU!")You have a fantastic dialogue over Nutella crepes but you realize now that you are probably creating that creepy Butterfly effect, and you and YOU are still afraid of butterflies.
(set: $hasKey to false)Getting to have Publix milk is a reward in itself. Congratulations, you have reached Nirvana.You suffer greatly from a stomach flu akin to that one March a few years back. Without a toilet and wastebasket, in the middle of this deserted space, you die an embarrassing, grimly death.The other day your boss said, you were running low on toner, and he told you you should buy another case. Well you told him you were busy, but he still just kept on asking. So you turned around, and stabbed him in the face.
(link: "Right in the face.")[Oh and wouldn't you know it, your knife got stuck. You guess that's probably bound to happen now and then. But you're afraid you may have bent the tip a little and you know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again.]
(link-reveal: "Why does this always happen?")[Why does this always happen to you?]For some reason, Steve is outside your house.
(if: $hasKey is true) [Give Steve the road burrito. Steve dies a horrible burrito diarrhea death. Why does this always happen to you? Wait a minute, he still owes you money, what a jerk! There's $5 that you're never going to see again, plus now on top of everything else, it looks like you're going to be late to work. Mr. Yankovic is going to make this weird.]
(if: $hasKey is false) [Tell him about how you met your former self. He doesn't believe you. You don't even believe you. Did Steve tell you that, perchance? STEVE. You will just have to start your New Zealand comedy musical duo with someone else.]